Losing control in a vast ocean of insecurity

How to Overcome Resistance

A girl overlooking the ocean.
Photo by Tatiana on Pexels

It’s the many voices at the back of my head telling me over and over that, I am not worthy. It’s a deeper part of my subconscious, stripping my mind away as easily as peeling back an orange peel. It’s the version of me when I look in the mirror and realize I don’t recognize myself anymore.

Resistance can take over our minds, our bodies when we least expect it. At our most frustrating moments in life, we ask ourselves, what is holding me back? And to understand that question we have to ask ourselves, what is resistance?

Resistance is a knot

Photo by Manuel Sardo on Unsplash

We all go through forms of resistance, trying to tie together what even brought us here in the first place when the truth is that resistance is like a perfectly taut knot.

Trying to unravel that hell-storm is harder than you might think because the knot is quite literally harder than steel and it’s not going away and unless you can predict the future from preventing it in the first place, you’re stuck with it. And as you try to untangle the mess, you become invested, your time and energy are spent up and ultimately you are now approaching the stage of blame.

You will blame yourself or others for not being able to untie the mess. At this point, you’ve somehow formed seventy other knots and all your wondering is how the heck did I manage that?

Acceptance is key

Admit all blame from yourself and from others. The first thing to do when you’re in this type of situation is to accept what you have done. You have caved into your resistance.

By trying to understand what is driving your resistance you are losing your own sanity. You started with one knot and ended up with too many to count because in the process of trying to unravel yourself you’ve let your own self get in the way.

Try a new approach

Instead of trying to untie what is already held together, why not form something new? A new form of resistance that will carry you positively forward.

Without resistance, you will never become stronger. Your muscles at work trying to untie that knot will never come into play. Maybe instead of viewing the knot as important to untie view it as an inconvenience worth forgetting about because it holds no value to your current state of life.

If you forget about the knot, was it ever there in the first place? It’s a good start but most of us would answer that question and be upset. Of course, it’s still there! It’s ugly and lumpy and imperfect.

That’s okay…remember acceptance?

It’s okay to have an ugly lumpy knot of resistance in your life that you will need to untie someday. It’s part of being human. It’s what makes you, you. Maybe you will never untie the knot and that’s just perfectly fine too especially if it is draining you of all your energy and causing you and the people around you hardship.

Maybe just the thought that the knot is there in the first place is driving you mad. So, it’s the perfect time to take a deep breath, try not to obsess, and instead let everything slowly unwind…before you know it the knot will loosen on its own. Your resistance will not be so tightly wound anymore, and you’ll be saying that wasn’t so hard!

Resistance is a journey

Photo by Mike on Pexels

It takes a lot of willpower to untie the knot. To allow the knot to untie on its own time and own will is even more difficult. But the journey it took to get there was the actual point of resistance.

Resistance can be viewed as a challenge to overcome, or it can be viewed as an impossible task. Most likely it will take the form of some sort of problem. Either way by not giving in to the temptation of assigning yourself to the problem, you give the issue little strength to zap all your energy away.

It’s like being on a boat along for the ride, listening to the waves, feeling the wind on your skin, being free versus feeling the rockiness, the shift in direction, every minute detail that is built upon the fear that you will for some reason tip over. As you journey across the ocean there is no place for fear. Because feeling and thinking of the worst possible circumstances are like purposely sinking the ship before it has even set off.

And isn’t that insanity? Drilling the ship with holes that will overflow with water? So don’t do this to yourself. Don’t fill your mind with tiny holes of resistance. Remember that resistance is a journey and can be a positive experience if you allow it to be.

You are the captain

And for a final thought remember resistance is all around us. To every negative experience comes a positive one. And you are not alone. So, if you’re ever feeling like your negative mindset is taking over, remember you are in control. You’re the one steering the boat. And you decide where to go.

Thank you for reading 📖

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Joelle Shusterman

Joelle Shusterman

• An aspiring novelist inspired by her father • Feel free to indulge in her writing!